September 30, 2010

trying to be where my feet are.

holy moly! i can't believe it's been over a month since i wrote on here. and, truthfully, i have thought about it almost every day and felt guilty for not writing...but i'm just SO busy. and that's a very, very good thing.

what's happened in the last month.... in the cancer side of my life, i passed some serious milestones. september 16th was a year since i was diagnosed, and september 25th was a year since i had my first chemo treatment. i passed both of them with less anxiety than i thought i'd have...but that's probably because i was too busy with school. i continue to feel amazing. i visited dana farber at the end of august, and was given a clean bill of health, and decided that's where i'll do all my follow up...for now. i had annual blood work with my primary care doc, and everything looked amazing. most exciting was my iron...when i was diagnosed my iron was 9 and my saturation was 4%. i was told it was anemia from the cancer, and once we treated the cancer, it'd correct itself. i guess i was doubtful, i didn't think it'd be that simple...but i guess it was. my iron is now 74 and 24% saturation. so crazy how the body still amazes me.

in my other life, things are wonderful. i started my masters in social work at the end of august, and while it's sufficiently kicking my butt, i love every second of it. between five classes, four days a week at my internship, and a research assistant position for some social work professors, i hardly have time to breathe. but i credit my sanity in the cancer part of my life a lot to how busy i am...and how much i love what i'm doing...and how good i feel about where i am. i also have a cool opportunity to process my own 'stuff' that i've picked up from cancer and other parts of my life. there's a huge belief in the social work curriculum that if you can't identify your own stuff and where it comes up in your work, you can't do good work. it's an interesting ride, i'm just trying to soak it up as much as i can between all the work they make us do.

so, things are good. i'm still trying to figure out how my cancer life and non-cancer life intersect, and when it'll feel like i'm one person again. i think this will definitely happen when i start to work in oncology, but i'm hoping to figure it out a little bit before then so i don't do anything too damaging when i'm working with a cancer patient and find myself in the midst of my own stuff. but, like everything else, i'm just trying to ride it out, and as one of my classmates said 'trying to be where my feet are'.


  1. Great Blog! You are a credit to the cancer blogging community. I have added you to my blogroll, “Cancer Blogs” with over 1000 other personal cancer blogs at, a cancer networking site featuring a cancer book club, guest blogs, cancer resources, reviews and more.
    If you have not visited before or recently, please stop by. If you agree that the site is a worthwhile resource for those affected by cancer, please consider adding Being Cancer Network to your own blogroll.
    Now that you are listed, you can expect to gain a wider audience for your thoughts and experiences. Being Cancer Network is a place to share and communicate.
    And like bloggers everywhere, I love receiving your comments and ideas.

    Take care, Dennis (

  2. Thanks so much for sharing your journey online. I just completed my six months of chemo for Hodgkin's and am awaiting a scan and radiation. It was so helpful to read through your blog and get some preparation for the weeks ahead. And also so great to know that my feelings and emotions are so normal!